Adventures within a pocket universe! hoo boy
by GabytheDragongirl
Summary: what do you get when you throw 3 Zelda characters, 3 Twilight characters, and 10 rabid twilight fans who also love Zelda into one small universe ruled by a cross between man, rabbit, and lizard? INSANITY!
1. Into the Sentient Wormhole

In Hyrule...

It was all over. The prince of evil was vanquished, peace had long since returned to Hyrule, and it was time for Midna to say goodbye. However, right before she would have passed through the mirror of twilight and broken it, an invisible wormhole appeared and swiftly teleported them all, Link, Zelda, and Midna, to a small pocket universe created within a dimensional rift.

The wormhole, now satisfied, moved on to another universe, but not before grabbing an ocarina in the Faron woods.

And in the alternate universe said wormhole went to...

In Forks, Washington...

The series of events known in another universe as the oddly bestselling _**Breaking Dawn**_ended 20 years ago. Now that Reneesme had gone off to Yale to pursue a mostly human life, her parents were forced to cope with what all parents must cope with sooner or later: an empty nest. They immediately fixed this problem with something simple: they were going to throw a party in La Push with all their vampire and werewolf friends. All the Cullens and Quileutes immediately found the situation to be awkward and turned down the offers. All except for Jacob. He thought a party would be perfect.

The party was rather spectacular. As soon as the fireworks went off, the other werewolves thought over their decision to not attend and crashed it. Then Alice saw the party and convinced all the Cullens to crash it as well. Then it was a blast.

Eventually, the party quieted down by the second day. All the party-crashers found they were too tired and left. The original guests stayed and partied until midnight, when an invisible wormhole silently whisked them to a small pocket universe created within a dimensional rift.

Satisfied, it [the wormhole] went off to another universe, but not before taking a prototype solar-charged electrical keyboard.

And that universe was one we know very well...

Earth, ComicCon 2008

It was an utter nightmare for ComicCon regulars. There was to be a Twilight panel, and the fans decided to come very early and stay at the auditorium until their panel came up. They were everywhere. On the chairs, the floor, each other. Sleeping. Sleeping through the presentations of the Gods of the comic universe. It was a nightmare.

One person was very peeved about all this. "Why's it even here? Twilight isn't a comic..." she muttered under her breath. Because of all this, she was unable to present her fledgling comic series and truly bring it to blossom. Her entire career could be shot because of a bunch of freaking twilight fans and their idol. She went through every other related convention with a huge crowd following, even the ABA, only to be stopped by this. What a waste.

Fortunately for her, the invisible wormhole was passing through her universe, stopped, and took pity on her. In one bold move, it sucked up the twilight actors who were going to appear in the panel, as well as ten twilight fans who would have otherwise convinced all the others to leave disgruntled, to the pocket universe created within a dimensional rift.(it soon realized that regulations would not like that and quickly transported the actors to a universe far away from this story.)

With suddenly nothing to show, the staff at ComicCon gladly accepted the young author's hit comic (for they didn't exactly like the twilight panel, either. they just went along with it because it was so popular). When the crowd realized that their beloved Edward (actually an actor by the name of Robert Pattinson who didn't look in the least like Edward) was not going to appear, instead of leaving disgruntled, they found themselves possessed to stay and listen to this new author.

She gained a standing ovation as all the twilight fans were hit by the tidal wave of tale that she weaved trough her fingers. As soon as it was over, they raced back home, and flooded their blogs, forums, and Facebook pages with talk of this amazing, no, REVOLUTIONARY new comic series. Friends told friends, and it took the world like storm, eventually spearheading a new movement of talented artists, writers, musicians, and inventors fearlessly showing their original, moving, and incredibly odd expressions of art. No two pieces of art were alike as Creativity flooded the planet and one had to make up new genres for all this disparity in imagination. All in all, it was a more momentous event than what happened in our reality, where Robert Pattinson made a face which circulated around the internet.

But that's another story.

Now VERY satisfied with what it had done, the wormhole faded off to its little corner in an unremarkable universe. Its job was done.


	2. Deep Inside the Pocket Dimension

Deep Inside the Pocket Universe...

Midna felt odd. She could feel it. It was as if gravity had just given up on her. When she opened her eyes, she realized that was because it was true. There was nothing around her. Everywhere she looked, it was as if a light grey grid was right in front of her. She knew for sure this wasn't the twilight. In fact, it looked more like a blank canvas then anything. She looks around some more, and right in front of her was Zelda. Asleep. She somehow managed to float over (all the while wondering how she could breathe in nothingness) and shook her

"Hey, wake up."

Zelda woke up.

"Where in Din am I?"

"Heck if I know," Responded Midna.

An hour passed. Or was it an hour? Could've been a minute for all they knew. Then they saw a small green speck in the distance. It was awkward trying to move in the nothingness, a bit like swimming, a bit like flailing. After what Zelda was sure was an hour, they finally reached Link. He was awake and staring ahead. Both of the girls tried to get his attention.

"Hey! Listen!"

"Acknowledge that you hear!"

"Liiiink!"

"I'm going to turn you into a wolf!"

"Hello?"

"Hyrule to Hero of Twilight. You read me?"

"...Postman?"

Zelda stopped waving her hands, and Midna stopped waving the transforming-stone-of-evil-power. Link talked. And what he said was odd. They looked ahead.

There was a purple cloud in front of them, and it indeed looked like the symbol the postman always wore on his hat. It stood there for a while, and then it exploded and dispersed, revealing the oddest creature they ever saw.

If we were there, we would have called it a purple rabbit. But rabbits had been extinct in Hyrule for 100 years now, and this Rabbit had a Lizard tail and the manner reminiscent of a man. It was standing in a relaxed pose and grinning at them

"Welcome, creatures, to My Domain!" it shouted in a powerful, echoing voice.

The Hyruleans looked at him. The Twili spoke first.

"Bit of a dump."

The rabbit shifted to a classic Cheshire cat pose.

"Yes, it is now, but that is because it's just beginning. I will create an astounding universe, and you will populate it."

"Populate the universe? We're two girls and one guy."

The very thought of what Midna was implying made Zelda gasp in horror.

"I was getting to that," the rabbit stated bluntly. It then brought out a 5-inch laptop computer. "You need not worry about that. The way I've programmed this, I'm near positively sure that you only need be in this universe for 6 weeks, around the amount of time for there to be a relatively large amount of land, and a bunch of members of your kind will be created. Simple as that."

The Hyruleans just stared at the strange device. Then Link spoke up. "What are you?"

The Rabbit turned to look at them. "I'm a Bunniwrath from the planet Hoppinidrum. Any other questions? Good. In a few minutes, there will be a few samples of some other species arriving. They will not be from Hyrule. So just go to the grass patch there and take this ocarina and hang tight, ok? I have lots of programming to do." The rabbit gave them a cream ocarina and poofed out.

Everyone immediately started looking around for grass until gravity hit it against them rather hard. It was an idyllic little patch of grass, oval shaped, 15 feet across, faded into the nothingness at the edges. Midna freaked and hid behind the idyllic oak tree at one end of the patch before a sun appeared. It was idyllic, too, warm but not too hot.

At that point, the citizens of the new universe got accustomed to their pastimes, Midna to trying to create a nice cloud of twilight, Link to playing Zelda's lullaby on the ocarina, and Zelda to falling asleep to the tune. She soon woke up, however, because Link drew his sword and Midna threw a rock at two sparkling pale beings and a giant brown wolf. The wolf took one step forward, and then yelped because he stepped on a sharp stone which probably left him a splinter. The female sparkling thing muttered to the wolf,

"I think they're safe, Jacob. I know they look weird, but they're not attacking. maybe you should turn human." Jacob tried, and soon realized he couldn't. Midna laughed.

In about 15 minutes, the situation was under control, and everyone settled into their new routines, Link into playing all the other tunes he learned at howling stones, Zelda into helping him with Playing an ocarina, Edward into arguing with Bella over what would've happened had she not thrown a party, Bella into coping with her new form as an albino wolf, Jacob into staring quizzically at the odd grey being, and Midna into (near successfully) making a cloud of Twilight.

So much weird stuff had happened already to this cast of weird, but more was yet to come, for there were some uninvited guests...


	3. the Terror of Planet Earth

The nightmare truly began, however, when Jacob decided he didn't like what the strange, apparently female alien was doing and decided to bite her. Midna muttered an ancient twili curse word and tried to shake the wolf off. Then the vampire and formerly vampire decided to bust out of tree jail. the two hylians were startled and would've fallen in an awkward position had they not fallen in opposite directions. There ensued an epic game of tag, which was possible because the field was now the size of a small park, still oval-shaped, had another tree, and was oddly flat on one side. Soon, however, the inhabitants of the new universe decided to settle their differences, and band together to ward off a new breed of terror, one which took a scary form they all knew too well.

Humans.

Three things they were sure of: one, they all carried "Team Edward", "Team Jacob", or "Team Jakeward" shirts, which were perfectly illegible to the hyruleans, two, they were all pre-teens, and three, they were absolutely keese-dung INSANE.

And as soon as they saw the Cullens, said keese-dung went down. They screamed, hurt the Hylians' poor sensitive ears, then ran shreiking. Some ran after Edward screaming "bite me Edward!!!!!!one!!!!!!" others ran after Jacob making wolf howls, and three just sat there watching the both of them attentively. When the freaked Edward and Jacob slammed into eachother and the ones on "Team Jakeward" cheered, it was soon realized what the heck "Jakeward" meant.

You could say that Edward and Jacob were freaked. You could also say that someone was killed in the Holocaust. both would be VERY true.

at the fringes of this havoc, the hyruleans and Bella hid behind a tree wondering what to do. then Link unsheathed the Master sword. they probably would have charged and fought off the unwelcome intruders, but the light radiating from the sword turned Bella back to normal, and the sound of the sword attracted the sharp ears of the Fangirls. and, unfortunately, these fangirls also happened to love the Legend of Zelda. they pounced on the residents like a pack of turkey vultures to human roadkill.

all Link and Zelda heard was their names over and over coupled with unintelligible words, Bella understood absolutely nothing, despite speaking the same language, and Edward, Jacob, and Midna didn't care; they ran up the nearest tree. if we were there, and we listened hard, we might've heard:

"OMG, Edward AND Link?! this is SO L33T! are we in heaven?"  
"nd Jacob 2 b00t!"  
"Jacobs got nuthin' on Edward and Bella's TWU LUV!"  
"Gaiz, they're getting away!!!!!!!!!!!!!ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!"

after perhaps 15 minutes of even more epic tag, the twilight fans were backed up against the flat part of the field. and fell off.

turns out it was flat because the terrain dropped off into a green ocean that matched the green sky. everyone thought it was over, until all 10 fangirls suddenly appeared above the drop off. with huge feathery wings, cat ears, and a tail.

"WE CAN FLY!!!!!"  
"THIS IS SERIOUSLY L33T!!!!"  
"WE'RE NEKOS! OMG!!!!"  
"I CAN'T MOVE!"  
somehow, everyone understood this, and everyone was relieved to know that the fangirls were suddenly immobilized. but why?

**A/N: and... that's it! I know it's short, but what a clifhanger, right? right? *cricket chirp* uhhh, ok, maybe not.  
fangirls are scary, aren't they? I should change the genre from "humor" to "horror" right now!!  
note that I will have nothing to write unless I can get some ideas! so hit that button right under you labeled "review this story" right now! or the fangirls will mistaken you and your boyfriend for Edward and Bella! I'M NOT KIDDING DO IT NOW!**

**why are you reading this? PUSH THE BUTTON NOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**


	4. A Diabolical and hawt Plan

"Curses, how'd they get in here? Flippin freeloaders..."

Midna turned, looked at the Great Bunniwrath, and went back to sleeping in the tree. She liked to imagine the supreme God of the Universe wasn't a loony, floppy-eared thing that couldn't decide whether or not it was a reptile.

The vampires stared in pure shock.

"It's... it's a-"

"Bunniwrath." Finished God. "And you should know, that I am the Supreme Being of this miniscule universe. You have been sent here to populate it with your DNA, and you're not coming back until that is accomplished. I also suggest you make peace with the Hylians next to you. The humans are a mistake."

He turned to the Bearers of the Triforce "These beings you see in front of you are part of a similar universe to the Vampire's, but distinct in that theirs has no vampires."

"Could you say that again? I didn't understand." Said Zelda.

The Rabbit gave her a killing look. He tries again. "The sparkly dudes are from a very advanced world. So are the flying cats. The sparklers are a mythological being to the flying cats. An accomplished piece of fiction created the exact characters you see there, and the flying cats have fallen in love with the two males. And Link. They are familiar with your tale, as it has been immortalized into a popular game. Do you understand?"

"Yes, that makes much more sense. Thank you."

"Very well, if you need my assistance, devise a complicated ritual to summon me. I have programmed a trans-language understanding between all three of your languages. It won't work for writing. Also, you are the Great Ancestors of all the races, so... get more ancient and god-like clothing. Maybe through the ritual. But you'd have to be naked at the point of the ritual, since you're not supposed to wear clothes at the dawn of time."

And with a twirl of his new top hat, God vanished.

And the Banes of Existence began to move again.

They swooped down upon Link, who began slashing wildly until they took his sword. Then one with blonde hair and a "jakeward" shirt picked him up.

The other guys were not just hanging around having a picnic at this time. They were also getting chased by flying cats, and Midna's luck just about ran out as they finally noticed her.

"Get away from me, you *bleep**bleep**bleep*!" she screamed while almost falling out of the tree.

A transcript of their screaming is in order:

"SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"OMG, GAIS, DID U C THA7 TOTTALY CREEPY WABBIT?"

"YA, IT WAS, LIKE, TLKING BOUT TWILIGHT TA ZELDA!"

"BUT THEN IT SAID SOMETHING ABOUT A RITUAL, ND DEY GATTA BE _**NAKED**_!"

_**!**_

"OMG, IT'S MIDNA! DA TWILIGHT PWINCESS!"

"EDWAAARD! JACOOOB!"

"YA GAIS, WE SHULD TOTTALY DO THAT RITUAL THING. IT'D B SOOOOO C00L!"

"WE COULD HAVE A WHOLE DRAWING ON TH GROUND, ND TIE THEM IN CHAINS, ND THEN THERE'S THE BST PART!"

"BUT WERE DO WE GET CHAINS FR0M?"

"I HAV SUM IN MAI BAG!"

"YA, BUT WE'D HAFTA BE TOTTALY NAKED, 2!"

"WHO CARES!"

Fortunately, Link had a plan, and he managed to subdue all the feline harpies before nightfall. And during the duration of their plan-making, they let Midna, Jacob, and Edward go. And yes, they were having a picnic. One of the trees grew mangoes.


End file.
